I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
