wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
