i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
