she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
