When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
