dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
what is it with giant penises always finding me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
