called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
whose parrot is this?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize