I can't breathe out the right side of my face
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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