i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
