capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
