p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
