If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
