You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
