I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
