My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
