Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
