Someone shit on the floor
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
