With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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