I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
