so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
