I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
COCAINE IS GR8
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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