My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
