But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
