I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
