Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
