You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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