That's when you crack a 10am beer
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
