Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
