I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
