you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
