it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
