I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
