so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
