The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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