She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
