She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
