remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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