At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
