margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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