I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
