I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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