The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
