the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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