I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
