Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
