You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
