4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
