Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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