So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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