I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
