i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
