the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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