Whod you bang
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
